The husband chronicles are a series of work shared with me by either subscribers or site visitors. I expand them into a short read.

James Intro

I don’t get offers to share stories or personal experience often. But when i do, i make it a point to compile and document them properly. Yes, i also ask for permission to publish them on the site.

Most are short stories that i can’t expand into a short read, some are just quick encounters. Sometimes, people send me their fantasies dressed up as confessions.

You can always tell if the details are too perfect, the wife is always described like some kind of Victoria’s Secret model, the other man always has a ten-inch cock. Real life is not like that. Real life is messy and embarrassing with plenty of awkward thrown in.

I still enjoy reading them, it gives me ideal and inspiration to build towards my next piece of work.

It took me some time to have enough to compile it into this useless husband chronicles.

These entries came in after i published Diary of a Useless Man. You can check out the piece via the link.

The first story here is by Ah Huat.

Not the 3 in 1 coffee cartoon by the way, but it’s what he asked me to call him. I usually get stories in emails or messages, but Ah Huat is different.

He send me a google drive link and inside were all voice notes.

If i didn’t know better, i’ll think he’s a pathologist using voice notes to list down his story.

A total of about 50 minutes of him talking in this mix of Hokkien and English, half the time sounding like he was going to cry, the other half like he was going to laugh at himself for almost crying.

He’s a hawker stall assistant. His wife works front desk at one of those boutique hotels in town — the kind with the lobby that smells like lemongrass and makes you feel like you walked into a Spa that is going to pressure you into a $4888 package.

They’ve been married five years. No kids yet, not by choice — just by circumstance, money issues. They’re worried they cannot afford to raise a child, even with all the baby bonuses and what not. But that is not important.

The important bits are about their staycation weekend. A very special staycation weekend.

My name is not really Ah Huat. Obviously right? I may be useless but i’m not stupid. James say I can use whatever name I want, so I pick the most generic Chinese uncle name I can think of. Ah Huat. This is the most generic name i can think of. Can’t help but laugh at the irony of this, i may be only 35, but i already look like an uncle. I consider myself an uncle too.

I work at my uncle’s chicken rice stall in Old Airport Road. Not owner, ah — assistant.

That means I chop the chicken, I boil the rice, I wash the plates when my Auntie takes her smoke break. I’ve been doing this since I finished NS, which makes it… what, almost 13 years now. 13 years of smelling like chicken fat. You know that smell? It gets into your skin. Like well marinated into your skin kind.

My wife says even after I shower she can still smell it on my neck. She says it in a nice way. Or she used to say it in a nice way. Now I’m not sure, sometimes it sounded like an insult.

My wife — I call her Mei, short for Mei Ling, which is also not her real name — she works front desk at this hotel. I’m not going to say which one but it’s one of those places along Keong Saik Road area. Boutique hotel. Thirty-something rooms. The kind of place where angmoh tourists stay when they want to feel like they’re experiencing “the real Singapore” but also want thread count above 600.

The lobby got one of those waterfall wall things and the whole place smells like they pumped essential oil through the aircon.

She started there about two years ago. Before that she was at the Jurong Point Uniqlo folding clothes. She felt like life was stagnant for her. Like every day she went in and came back feeling like a zombie. I didn’t understand what she meant at the time. Now I think maybe I do.

The hotel changed her. Not in a bad way — or maybe in a bad way, depends on how you look at it. She started dressing different. Not like sexy different, but like a bit more trendy and chic. More sex appeal i guess.

There’s uniform provided, only blouse and blazer, but for the bottom, it needs to be black. If she wore pants, she need to pair it with black pumps. If she wore a skirt, she must wear black stockings and black heels. Those are the dress code. Most of the time Mei wore skirt, she never liked pants and she felt a skirt gave off more of the OL feeling that she liked.

It made her feel more professional. I think she secretly like it when men look at her in skirt and heels. It made her feel desired, more sexy. These were her own words.

She likes the way people look at her in the train at Rochor and Tanjong Pagar in her work clothes now compared to the way they appraise her jeans and t-shirt when she alighted at Boon Lay.

She learned how to say “Good evening, welcome” in a way that didn’t sound like she was reading from a script. The hotel had this training where they teach you how to talk to high-end guests — how to remember their names, how to recommend restaurants, how to make conversation without being too familiar.

Mei was good at it. The guests liked her. The manager liked her. She got promoted to senior front desk within a year, which meant slightly better pay. It did wonders for her confidence. At least she gets promotion. At the chicken rice stall, there’s no such thing.

Every staff member gets one complimentary staycation per year. One night, standard room, breakfast included. She’d never used hers. Please la, staycation is for young couples in love, still romantic and all. You want to go staycation with a chicken rice seller?

Wah. so Romantic. smell chicken oil and look at uncle in a romantic hotel.

Mei usually just give the voucher away to a colleague. Not that i’m interested to go to a staycation also. For what? The bed at home is more comfortable.

Our sex life, well, at least i have a sex life. Once or twice a month lor. And sometimes i have to beg for it. I know she’s tired after her shift sometimes but come on la, we men have needs also. When i feeling horny and high from watching porn or reading online erotica, i see her come home in blouse, skirt and black stockings. Fuck man, how to resist my 28 year old petite and sweet wife?

Having sex with her in her work clothes, being able to tear the stockings off her body became the highlight every time we do it. I thought that was the peak already. The most amount of excitement i can get as a useless chicken rice seller. I was wrong.

Few months ago, Mei came to me one evening and told me she is going to redeem for the staycation.

Mei : for our…anniversary

Huat : huh? why so special? no need la.

Mei : I don’t care. i want…and there is something…special…i need to talk to you about…it’s special occasion.

Huat : huh ? what is it? Anniversary also consider special occasion meh?

She smiled. That smile that I used to find cute when we were dating — the one where she tilts her head a little bit like she knows something you don’t. Now that smile made my stomach feel funny. Not butterflies. More like… suspicion.

It is a terrible thing to feel about your own wife’s smile.

That’s who I am. Suspicious of happiness. Like hawker assistant don’t deserve happiness.

I should have known right then. Mei never does anything without a reason. She’s the kind of person who plans in advance. But I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that my wife just wanted to spend a nice weekend with her useless husband in a fancy hotel room.

11200 words

Coming soon