James is an inconsiderate road user.

The truck blared its horn for a good 5 seconds and James just flipped his finger at the driver.

“FUCK YOU!” James shouted. “FUCK OFF!”

Pedalling his road bike along Dunearn road, he cursed at the vehicle filled with foreign workers.

He didn’t care that he was taking up the entire left lane with his cycling buddies. It didn’t matter to him that it was the evening peak hour; he had every right to the road even though he paid no road taxes.

A delivery bike veered too close to his right and he snapped again.

“FUCK OFF!” He snapped at the middle age man delivery man trying to balance his load of food and drinks.

Stopping at the traffic junction, James and his friends took up 2 lanes on purpose because he needed to confront the delivery man on his old Yamaha scooter.

“HEY! My bicycle can buy 2 of your bike with spare change!” James said aggressively to the man. “Keep half a metre away understand or not!”

The lights turned green and the bike sped off, ignoring his tirade. The vehicles behind him sounded their horns and he lost it again.

Turning behind, James flipped his finger at the long line of vehicles.

“FUCK YOU ALL. Come on!” He challenged. “Come and knock me down la! Fucking pussy!”

The honks became more intense but James and his friends laughed, taking their time to pedal off.

James loved cycling in a group and dominating the road. He took extra pleasure in irritating the drivers by blocking their path, veering in and out of lanes and not to mention making sudden turns at traffic junctions to join the pedestrians crossing the road.

With the tight layer of sweaty clothes clinging onto his overweight frame, James proudly jiggled his belly and ass as he pedalled. It didn’t matter that he was 20kg overweight. On his expensive bicycle, he thought himself the equivalent of Peter Parker.

Cycling in Singapore was lawless. You could break all the rules you wanted and what could the pathetic drivers do? Upload a video of you on the internet?

That was just plain sad.

Aside from the clothes he was wearing, there was nothing they could identify him with.

No cars would ram him down that was for sure. The poor sods on the roads were just concerned about their insurance premiums.

He just needed to take note of heavy vehicles and their blind spots. Other than that, a bicycle ruled the roads in this country.

An expensive bicycle above all.

Pedalling pass a man in his fifties on a power assisted bicycle trying to deliver groceries for a living, James shouted at him to keep to the side.

“Hey hey hey! So slow keep to the footpath la uncle!”

After a 3 hour ride, James and his friends finally completed the round island route, ending at the Botanic Gardens. After sucking water from his bottle, he drenched his face and body with water as he high-fived his friends.

“Good job man, good job.”

Praises were sung openly as a few of them waddled towards their bicycles like a ducks that grew oversized testicles.

A cyclist not from their group came up to them.

“Hey guys, you all need to be more considerate to other road users. What you all did back there…”

James pushed his way to the front.

“What you want?“ He challenged.

“I’m just reminding you that all users have a right to the road, we all need to play our part in making it safe.” The man said. “What you all did, veering left and right, flipping fingers, you are giving other cyclists a bad name. I was behind you guys the whole time, you’re very inconsiderate.”

“Oh fuck off la… don’t try to be a saint..” James said and gestured for the man to fuck off. “The drivers are all fuckers, trying to force us off the road..”

“That’s not fair, you’re an adult… I think..”

“I don’t give a shit what you think… just go…. mind your own business.” James said.

He was about to turn away when the man said something that made his blood boil.

“Don’t say I never warned you.”

“What the fuck did you just say?“

James walked aggressively towards him but the man just turned and got back onto his bicycle.

“Oei come back…no balls ar? Come la ….. fucker….”

He cast a look of disdain at the man’s old bicycle that looked like it didn’t cost more than $500.

His friends gestured for him to calm down.

The group then went to a nearby coffee shop for dinner before chatting till late in the night over beer and BBQed seafood.

It was close to midnight by the time they parted ways.

James did a bit of stretching before getting up on his bicycle. It was still early, he felt like he could clock a bit more mileage before going home.

He took Bukit Timah road back up towards Bukit Panjang where he lived. At the junction before he crossed to Upper Bukit Timah, a female cyclist pulled up beside him.

She looked good, a well-toned body and great legs, riding a Brompton foldable bicycle.

She turned and gave James a smile followed by a nod, a simple greeting by a fellow cyclist. The cyclist checked the map on her phone before deciding to leave the road and get onto the footpath.

Looking at her perky butt and firm figure, he decided to follow her and maybe get to know a new cycling buddy.

James pedalled behind the girl, following her as she turned into Rifle Range road.

He was about 50 metres behind her when he suddenly saw her losing control of her bicycle. She swerved left and right and she seemed to be pedalling on air for a few second before she lifted both feet clear of the pedals.

James saw the girl looking down at her pedals and chain; she must have dislodged the chain or something.

The girl pulled up to a side road by a row of shop houses.

James slowed down his bicycle.

He saw her removing her helmet and she was gorgeous. She knelt down to look at her bicycle and James knew that was his chance.

“Hey, you ok? Need help?” James offered as he parked his ride beside her.

“Oh hi… ermmm.. chain came off…” She said.

“Hmm, that’s strange…” James said as he went closer for a look.

The chain was fine. Before he could turn around, he felt a painful jab in his neck and the ground seemed to rush up at him before everything turned black.

9400 words

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