A policy for the uber rich
It’s a new form of insurance.
When it was first launched, it took the country by a storm. It caused an outrage, the internet was set ablaze by the comments.
It’s essentially a policy that you need to buy before the beneficiary turns 10.
Which means, before you kid turns 10, if you as a parent, thinks that this good for nothing piece of shit you have been raising is so pathetic, he or she will probably end up single with no partner.
You buy this insurance policy and at the time the beneficiary turns 30, a partner will be assigned to him.
So where does the partner, male or female, comes from ?
It’s a modern form of debt slavery.
People who could not afford to service their debts, enter into contracts like this to pay them off.
You want to pay off your university student loan ? Sure, that would be 2 years of dating with someone you have never met.
Oh, you think he’s ugly, too fat ? too many pimples ?
I’m sorry dear, beggars cannot be choosers.
Oh you got a dude with body odour ? Smelly feet ?
I’m sorry for you but a contract is a contract.
You still need to serve out the term of the contract.
The insurance policy dictates that the contract has to be fulfilled while living under the same roof.
It gives you more time to spend with each other, get to know each other better, date, get married and have kids.
What if it doesn’t work out ?
What if the beneficiary do not like the girl or guy assigned to him or her ?
They can request a change as long as they spend 1 week together.
The one serving his or her contract to pay off their debts however do not get to choose. You suck it up and do it.
As scary as it sounds, this scheme is hugely successful.
More than 80% of the policies successfully paired up couples who go on to start a family.
Some guys might be too shy to approach and talk to girls. They are nice guys, good upbringing and they are just not outspoken enough or they do not take the initiatives.
This policy solves that problem.
Some really beautiful girls may have the issue of attracting all the assholes. It’s the truth. Who doesn’t like a pretty babe right ? But are these the right guys she want to date and marry ?
Good looking ? bad boy vibes ? look cool ?
This is Singapore. Everything cost money.
Looking cool does not put food on the table. It does not pay for the mortgage.
The world has changed now. It’s the geeks and nerds that are pulling in the big bucks and the girls know that well.
Needless to say, the premium for this policy is expensive.
It’s priced for the rich.
The uber rich.
And my family, happens to be one of them.
There are many happy endings to these policies. Too many to count.
And then there are stories like mine that doesn’t get told.
There is no happy ending for my policies.
Yes . Policies in plural.
My family is rich enough to get me not one, but two.
Two policies meant two girls.
Two girls meant twice the headache.
As a geek myself, I was really looking forward to my 30th birthday.
That would be the day my policy matures.
I’ve always been very shy around girls and I was really looking forward to meeting my new friends or partners.
My fellow rich friends have asked me to temper my expectations.
“ usually fat and ugly one la. “
“ya, the one I got cannot make it.”
“oh the one I got not too bad, it was only after she removes her makeup then faint. “
“lower your expectations and you won’t be disappointed James”
Hearing words of discouragement like these really dampens the excitement but nevertheless, I was looking forward to making and meet some new friends on my 30th birthday.
I could not sleep the night before.
The declaration forms and documents have already been sent the month before. A detailed investigation has been carried out by a professional team to ensure I am really single and not attached.
They verified that I have two policies with the same company.
My parents, knowing that I’m picky by birth wanted to make sure their geek of a son would be able to have a wife and continue the family’s surname.
I would have been fine with just one policy because I can always change the girl if I don’t like her however, my parents have a schedule to meet.
Yes a schedule.
My parents have a schedule for my life.
I need to date by 30, get married by 31 and have a child by 32.
It’s all calculated by fengshui masters and shit.
I was up at 7am on my birthday.
I came down to the dining area and the helpers already laid out a spread of breakfast. From croissants to friend bee hoon, I noticed that extra seats have been set at the table for the new guests.
My heart was thumping as I drank my morning coffee while looking at the door.
Anytime now the agency will send a car over and drop off the two girls.
My heart sank the moment I heard that voice.
No, it’s not my mum.
It’s my nanny.
She was the one that literally ran the household from the time I could walk.
Nanny Rong handled every aspect of my life, from packing my very first school bag, to buying new underwear for me. I hated her.
With a permanent grump on her face, she reminded me of some evil step mother.
I was afraid of her when I was young, now that I’m an adult, I am still afraid of her.
That’s how useless I am.
“James, sit down at the table for your breakfast, there is no need for you to receive the two girls. They are here to serve you. “ Rong said.
“I thought we’re going to start off as friends before dating ? “
“those are for others, not for you. “ she said sternly while pointing to a stain on the marble floor that needed to be clean. Another helper immediately got onto her knees and started scrubbing, afraid to incur her wrath.
“you are special James. the girls are here to have your baby.” Rong commanded like the die has already been cast.
“ Auntie Rong, I don’t even know them, I may not even like them “ I said with my voice barely above a whisper.
“you will like them. You will “ She said while looking at me.
I avoided her eye contact.
How can she possibly know if I would like them or not ?
I mean looks aside, I’m going to be choosing a wife, the character matters too. I need to be able to click with the girl.
I must like her above all else and she must like me too.
Just then I heard the doorbell ring and I almost dropped the breadroll I was holding.
I saw my parents come down the stairs in their pyjamas, looking excited to have a glimpse of the girls that will be spending some time with me.
I stood up instinctively as I looked at the door.
Nanny Rong dismissed the helpers and walked towards her door herself.
My heart beat increased by a 100% as I started at the large door leading to the car porch.
The door opened and I first saw a man handing over some documents.
Then he pushed in 2 suitcases.
After that, Nanny Rong signed off on some documents.
The man took a step back and I dropped the bread roll in my hand when my eyes saw the two girls stepping into my line of sight.
“ Jesus.” That was all I could mumble before I turned to my parents and shouted for the first time in a long while.
“are you fucking out of your mind! “ My shout rattled a few servants and Nanny Rong turned around immediately, demanding that I mind my manners.
“how dare you James! You will mind your manner!” Rong raised her voice at me.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly to calm myself down as I look at the two terrified girls at the entrance.
Massaging the ridge of my nose, I apologised for my outburst as Nanny Rong led the two girls into the house.
“introduce yourself to master James girls “ Rong ordered.
“Hi Master James, I’m Celeste”
“Hi Master James, I’m Chloe”
I looked at the two girls who were still dressed in their school uniforms and asked Celeste how old is she.
“I’m 18 Master James.” She relied.
There’s no need to ask Chloe.
If I know Celeste’s age, I will know Chloe’s age.
They’re twins, that’s why.