James’ wife Meihui frequents this cai fan stall from a coffee shop near their flat. Ah Hui, one of the cai fan stall staff keeps flirting with her. Women, at the end of the day, they all craved attention.
There are many kinds of husbands.
There’s the usual chauvinistic ones, the totally bochup ones, the kind with small cock syndromes where they die die must drive on the right lane or be the first to accelerate across the white line at the traffic light.
There’s also the kind with fragile ego issues, when someone cut into their lane, they go into a bitch fit, high beam and tailgate, right hand on steering wheel and left hand clutching their reproductive organ while cursing in different language.
Which kind am i you ask?
I’m the kind that carries my wife’s bag when she shops.
Not in a millionaire CEO kind of suave manner you see in dramas by the way. Mine is the kind where i just stand at the back and be invisible.
It does not take a lot for people to know who wears the pants in my house once they get to know Meihui and me.
I’m the meek and quiet husband. My wife is the one calling the shots and making all the important decisions.
Why?
No particular reason, this is just my character.
Meihui was the one who initiated a relationship when we were in polytechnic. She was the one who held my hand, the one who kissed me.
I lost my virginity to her too and yes, she initiated it as well. Everything, she decides.
Proposal? Wedding?
Everything.
I literally meant every fuck thing from applying for a BTO to my singpass password, Meihui makes the decision. I just listen.
We were working in the same company for a few years in the early stage of our careers after graduation. Then, she started moving up the ladder. She changed jobs, she got offers.
Now, she’s a senior manager in a MNC, managing the Asia pacific team at 30 years old.
Me?
I’m a CEO.
Sorry, my CEO is not a Chief executive.
My CEO title is a bit different.
It stood for Checkout & E-commerce operations.
After i was retrenched from the company, i could only work for a small family ran supermarket in Tampines. My CEO title was given to me by the owner’s daughter who was trying to do some e-commerce start up.
On top of working as a cashier, i help out with some of her website’s e-commerce setup.
The difference in earning power could not be more obvious.
I make 1850 a month.
My wife makes 17500 a month.
My household average is 9k plus ok? I go out i can tell people my household income is almost 20k a month. They will easily assume wah, James, you smelly smelly also 10k including CPF and bonuses.
This is how statistics work for you.
I’m sure you can probbaly guess, i’m quite a boring and quiet guy. I don’t know how to ‘xian’ (chat) with girls. I don’t know how to compliment them properly, to comment on their dressing, their beauty.
I don’t know how to use words to make people feel good about themselves.
Yes, i don’t know how to compliment my wife.
It just feels weird.
How do you expect me to say something so cheesy like ‘ oh you look good today’
‘oh that dress really compliments your hair’
‘you look gorgeous’
I can’t.
It’s just not me and i don’t feel comfortable saying this like that.
I also suck at making conversations. When people talk to me, i usually give one word reply.
I can’t continue conversations and i failed all my Oral back in school.
I let you in on a secret, i failed my ‘oral’ as an adult too. It was one of the many source of my wife’s frustration with me.
Yes, my performance in the bedroom was well, not impressive.
There’s a saying that goes something like this.
If you don’t weed your farm and plough the ground, someone else will spot the fertile land and come and take over.
The first time i felt a threat like this, was when a new Cai fan stall opened at a coffee shop near my flat in Tampines. It was also near the supermarket where i worked.
It was the end of the work day, Meihui and i decided to head there to grab dinner.
That was when i saw Ah Hui for the first time.
He has that typical chao ah beng look. Blonde hair, centre parting, tattoo on the arms. He looked like someone frozen in time from another era.
Perhaps from a time where people associate Marina Bay with steamboats, kite flying, bowling and Canto disco.
I could see his leering eyes when he saw my wife in the queue and the grin.
That grin on his face, it was the kind perverts give before they take your upskirt.
Hui : Mei nu! (pretty girl), Lai, what you want?
Meihui : Uncle…i want…
Hui : Wah lau…i uncle meh? enough rice or not?
Meihui : haha..enough enough…
Hui : call me uncle, i charge you more ah…
Meihui : huh…i…
Hui : kidding la…come come…what dish you want?
Meihui : I want…this…this…
Hui : what this..this…? say the name…don’t chicken nugget chicken nugget…
Meihui : what chicken nugget?
Hui : you never hear the cai fan song meh? Zhe ge, na ge, Zhe ge na ge ? Chicken nugget…
My wife literally burst out laughing and i could see that pervert, gleeful grin on Hui’s face go wider as he eye balled my wife’s blouse and the contours of her breast.
Meihui :you very funny leh…haha
Hui : you like funny guys ar? come, 2 vege 1 meat. $4.20
Meihui : I paynow can?
Hui : for you, pay tomorrow also can la…come thank you Mei nu…if want more rice and gravy come back ya…no charge…for you…
It’s been a while since i saw my wife smile so happily.
I felt this jolt of jealousy and anger in my stomach.
Then? What did i do?
Nothing.
What can i do?
People taller, stronger, got tattoo.
I ate my noodles and asked her hows the food.
James: nice?
Meihui : their cai fan is good…mmmh…will patronise them more often…
My wife said as she cast another look at Hui. Hui, served up another customer and looked across the counter towards where my wife is sitting. His eyes was obviously looking under the table, where Meihui’s legs were crossed and he’s probably trying to see if he can steal a peek up her skirt.
I clenched my chopsticks hard but i did nothing.
I can do nothing.
i am a good for nothing.
I can only watch helplessly as the ah beng from the cai fan stall ‘xian’ and bed my wife.
Coming soon