Some secrets, you take with you to the grave.

I met my wife Peiqi when we worked at the same interior design firm. Both of us were designers and we hit it off while working on the same project for a corporate client.

Peiqi was the prettiest employee in the office and the bosses liked her. Her good looks and sweet disposition brought in the clients. She was always there at every presentation and discussion.

This is how the world works. Sweet looks and beauty sells, period.

Despite the strong competition for Peiqi’s attention, my perseverance paid off and I won her over, much to the disappointment of my other colleagues.

We dated and eventually she left the company after 4 years because she wanted to pursue a career in finance. After a short stint at an insurance company, Peiqi got a job in the civil service.

She joined the company that a lot of us Singaporeans hate.

The CRT board. Central Retirement Board. The CRT administers the ‘forced savings’ of all Singaporeans for our medical and retirement needs. The country has a love hate relationship with CRT board. Some love it, while others hated it to the core.

I mean the CRT takes away 20% of your monthly pay, reducing the disposal income for many.

I often joked with Peiqi not to tell anyone that she works for the CRT board.

“People will hate you dear if you tell them you work for CRT.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, and it doesn’t help that I work in the compliance team.” My wife added.

Which essentially meant that part of her work involved going after employees and employers who did not contribute to the CRT on time.

This is like a tax that you cannot avoid.

Who doesn’t hate the tax man or in this case the tax woman?

Good looks and a sweet disposition were not going to help my wife this time given the nature of her work. Imagine having to deal with the frustration and anger of the people whom you were chasing to pay up.

They hated her to the core even though she was just doing her job.

In some sessions where mediation was necessary, they stationed an auxiliary police officer in the room during the discussion. That was how challenging her job was. Things had been known to get violent when emotions ran high.

It was not easy, but at least it was stable.

It was the perfect place to work, settle down and have a family.

Peiqi and I got married shortly after that.

I stayed on in the interior design company and while life was good initially, the company folded on my 6th year there.

At 30 and out of a job, I decided to take on a nursing program as a mid-career switch. The healthcare industry always needed more people and I was feeling a little sick of the design and construction industry anyway.

I was midway through my conversion to become a nurse when a few of my fellow course mates were forwarding articles about sex. It was not porn but more like cheeky articles for light reading.

And among the articles, something stood out. It was one of the weirdest things I have ever read. An article about a couple’s sex life that involved sharing and exposing the wife.

Why would anyone do something like that?

I grew up thinking that I should do everything I could to protect the woman I love, yet that very article spoke of sharing your wife with other men for a heightened sense of pleasure.

Disturbing as the article was, I could not get the idea out of my head.

I just kept thinking about it. And the more I thought about it, the more aroused I became.

I found myself thinking about weird stuff during intercourse with my wife. I would imagine sharing and exposing her to everyone she had collected money from.

Everyone that hated the CRT board lining up to look at her body, channelling their anger and frustration physically via touches and gropes.

All the disgruntled employers and self-employed personnel whom Peiqi had collected money from lining up to feast their eyes on her body.

The scenario turned me on so much that I would ejaculate prematurely.

Then I started to imagine my wife being touched and used by other men. Angry men who were upset with her and took it out on her body. It was arousing.

Very arousing.

Needless to say, if I shared something as absurd as this with Peiqi, she would surely leave me. She would probably think that I was out of my mind. I had to suppress it deep within my mind and when we were having sex, I would press my eyes shut while I imagined playing out the sick scenario.

Listening to my wife moan as I had sex with her, I imagined that the one having sex with her was not me but a 50 year old man with a pot belly, who was unable to keep up with the CRT payments for his staff. And Peiqi had been hounding for him to pay up until he finally snapped.

That was all I could do.

Play the scenario in my head.

Until one day.

Until one day when I was practising how to insert an IV. We practised amongst each other in class and it took a few attempts for me to get the hang of it.

And when I successfully put the IV into one of my friend’s veins and hooked it up with the saline drip, I felt my body shake and I was hit with this massive erection.

It just hit me.

Like someone gave me a slap in my face.

My heart started beating really fast and I looked at the array of drugs in the locked cabinet and at the tube delivering saline into my friend’s body.

I was hit with a sudden thought.

An evil one.

If I put an IV into Peiqi on the pretext of practising for my practical. I could control what drugs went inside her body.

My throat went dry as I could literally see the list of chemicals and drugs cycling through my head.

If I could get her to go to sleep, perhaps I could expose her body to someone.

I didn’t know who.

I didn’t know how.

All I knew was that no man in the right frame of mind would reject looking at my wife’s body.

10400 words

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