Crazy rich Asians are real, so are the Horny Rich Asians


I had a stroke of dumb luck befall on me when I was 21. Working part time at a soy bean stall selling beancurd and soy drink, I joined my colleagues on the Chinese New year Hong Bao draw.

Each of us pooled $10 for the new year lottery with a prize pot of 10million.

I never expected to win because I have never won anything in my life before. So when my phone rang at 10pm that Friday night, I was pretty sure it was a prank by Auntie Ling who really took care of me like a son.

Ling : James we won! We Won! Huat already.

James : Auntie Ling, don’t joke about such things la. By the way, I need to switch morning shift on Monday with you. I need to go back to school for some project meeting.

Ling : Switch what switch ? You crazy ah. We all going to quit already. Retire and enjoy life hahah, ok, ok, I need to call the others.

I brushed it off as a prank after she hung up and went for my 6 hour shift as usual on that Saturday afternoon. Word had began to spread that the group of us won the lottery within the basement of that old shopping mall itself.

A lot of people came to congratulate us and even the boss himself came down to the branch, worried that all of us will quite together.

I was still in a state of shock as Auntie Ling handed me a piece of paper to indicate my share of the prize money.

The snowballed amount was north of 12 million at the end, and the 1st prize went 2 ways between 2 tickets. That is more than 6 million a ticket.

5 of us shared the 6 million winnings.

I was in a daze when I turn up for work on Monday afternoon and saw the cheque Auntie Ling presented to me.

Ling : James, save it properly, don’t waste it ah. Go and study, ok? Travel, see the world. You got a nice headstart in life with this, don’t waste it.

Taking over the piece of paper, I still could not bring myself to believe I’m a millionaire at 21. I never put in any effort at all, I didn’t even bother to check the results of the lottery, the auntie and uncles went to queue for the ticket, they even prayed for the chance to strike it rich while I did nothing.

I told no one, not even my parents. Not because I don’t want to share the good news or anything, I was just confused and scared.

Wanting to take a few months to organize my thoughts, I never expected to see the world economy collapse. It’s June in 2008, Bear sterns was the first to go. Even Lehmen brothers went under.

In this climate, I was too afraid to do anything with my money, leaving it to rot in the bank.

By end of 2008, I decided the safest bet is properly to get a property. I could stay in it, or rent it out. Heading to the showroom of a boutique development, I realized I was the only potential buyer, and there are 5 agents eyeing me the moment I stepped in.

4 of them looked away immediately in the young kid wearing free army sports shoes and carrying a school bag. They probably thought I was there to take photos for a school project or something.

The agent that approached me is this girl, Tricia. We must be about the same age and there is this twinkle in her eyes that I cannot describe. She’s really beautiful, not hot, not whore like with thick makeup, but natural beauty enhanced with light makeup.

Tricia : Hi, can I help you…?

James : I ermm.. want to buy a place here. I like the location.

Tricia : ok sure. Ermm.. come over here, let me take you through.

While I was expecting Tricia to be professional and knowledgeable about the project she is about to sell me, she fumbled along most of the time. She don’t know how many units there are, she can’t tell east from west. She cannot even read a floor plan properly.

And she cannot even tell me the price, the downpayment, latest home loan and  she forgot the block numbers she just referred to in the brochure.

Tricia : Ermm.. this block 50, this unit la, I think this one looks good. You look at all the nice cute model trees, so cute….the green roof, the curve…gym is right beside you.

James : Ermm.. I think that’s the clubhouse.

Tricia : Oh? … let me check how much they are selling the clubhouse ok…it comes with the gym, so it might cost a bit more.

James : What?

She flipped through the booklet seriously and it didn’t look like she is kidding. I looked at the other agents sniggering away. They are obviously gloating over her unprofessionalism.

In the end, I decided to save her the embarrassment.

With interest rate near zero, I have got an in principal approval from the bank and I know exactly how much they are willing to loan someone like me with 1.2million sitting in spare cash in their account.

James : I want this 2 unit.

I said to Tricia who started laughing.

Tricia : Are you joking?

James : No… I can write you a cheque now.

Tricia : aRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Tricia started shouting and waving her hands around the showroom, startling other agents and the security guard.

James : Hey, hey, hey, calm down. I know you’re going to get a good commission for basically doing nothing but just calm down.

Tricia hugged me and her genuine laugh really melted my heart. A laugh that is not triggered by money, but by the real joy of accomplishing something on her own.

While waiting for the paperwork, I could see the jealous glare of her other colleagues. One of them even held up the cheque I issued to see if it was real.

Tricia : You are my very first customer you know that ? My very first.

James : ermm..ok… I’m glad I can help you meet your target or something…

Tricia just laughed and asked if she could buy me dinner.

Right about then, a Rolls Royce pulled up to the entrance of the development.

An elderly gentlemen stepped out of the chauffeured vehicle and Tricia immediately jumped up.

Tricia : Daddy! I sold something! I told you I will sell something!

With the big reveal that Tricia is actually the developer’s daughter, everyone in the showroom dropped their jaw by a full inch.

I stood up in surprise, unsure of what to do. Tricia pulled her father over to me who gave me the once over before shaking my hand.

Fast forward 2 years later, Tricia and I got married and I moved into the large family home.

I was only 24 then.

With 2 properties for rental income and a job in a engineering office giving me 2.9k a month, I was quite happy with my life. I feel contented with life, I feel rich.

I really thought I was rich, until I was introduced to the life of the horny rich.

To be honest, this story is a sad one. One about my sad life living in the family of horny rich Asians.

Tricia has a high sex drive.

That’s good right? Which men don’t want a beautiful wife that craves for sex regularly ?

Of course I was happy.

Until I realized she is not the only one with a high sex drive.

There is still her sister, Elize.

And my mother in law, Ping who is only 33. She is my wife’s step-mother.

Not to forget my father in law’s mistress, Alicia who is the same age as me

I know crazy rich Asians are real, I never expect horny rich Asians to be real too.


Coming soon