James wants to hire a sugarbabe for a class gathering, he ended up with a sugar mummy.
*This title features an unwilling man & a more than willing woman*
…
I hate class gathering.
The intention is good, i know. Francis has taken the effort to keep everyone together since Secondary school. Every year without fail, he will organise a gathering.
I know sometimes people organise gathering to show off shit. It’s a very Singaporean thing to do.
You move into a new condo, oh, must quickly organise a housewarming. You change new car? Same, must quickly do a meetup. The point is to let everyone know how good you are doing.
What’s the point of working hard, achieving so much then end up nobody knows about it?
Defeats the purpose of being Singaporean isn’t it?
Well, i know for sure Francis isn’t this kind of people, he just wants to catch up and provide a platform, if you can call it that, for friends to gather. Honestly, he has a big heart, his 5 room flat hosted so us for so many years before others volunteered.
Sometimes it’s condo clubhouses, sometimes it’s those who stay in landed. Sometimes we just meet up in a restaurant in town. We eat, drink a bit, chit chat, everyone shows off something about their lives.
Why? Isn’t it true?
The job with the fat pay cheque, maybe one with free food everyday. Fly business class, collecting a brand new car, you see shit like these long enough, it creates this imbalance in your brain. It affects you mentally to be honest.
If you have tried to get 40 people together for a gathering, you will know the amount of effort and coordination needed. Not all will turn up, but it’s considered a feat if you can get at least half.
Here’s the thing, there are those that will always not show up. Those have drifted away already, then there are people like me who always show because i like Francis. He’s a nice guy and i make it a point to support him. There are also other reasons, i want to see some of my former classmates.
And it’s not for a good reason.
I want to show off too. Show off what you ask?
Last time they showed off their early career, their early marriage, now some are out of work, some are divorced, now it’s my turn to show off my stable job and the happy single life.
Yes i’m a bitter person, but can you blame me?
1st class gathering, these were the kind of things they say to me.
‘James, still haven find job ar?’
‘James, after you break up with Meihui, no other girlfriend? how come? cannot let her go ? haha’
‘James, wah lau, i change 3 girlfriend liao, don’t tell me you still thinking of Meihui?’
Questions like these, asked with a condescending tone, really gets under my skin.
And it’s not just once, it’s repeated. Over and over.
The questions i get every year, is the same.
‘Eh James, why no girlfriend?’
‘Eh bro, not going to buy a property? In Singapore, you need a property la, if you cannot afford private, at least get a DHB’
‘James, you take bus? Why don’t get a car? So much more convenient.’
I tell you, sometimes, i really feel like smacking these people who once sat in the same classroom as me.
If i can have girlfriend, buy a property, and drive a flashy car, you think i won’t do it? Of course i will. It’s because i don’t earn enough to do any of those.
I don’t have much luck on the love front either.
And you know what’s worse?
My ex-girlfriend.
Every, fucking year, seeing that bitch, stuck up face, i really feel like strangling her. She will never forget to remind me that she ‘made’ the right choice to break up with me.
If she had ‘stayed’, she will not be staying in her Serangoon condo, where she can ‘walk’ across the road to NEX mall.
Do you know she still text me every Chinese New year, Christmas, Mid-autumn and every fucking festival that justify sending some tacky posters. Then every once in a while, she will send some photos of old stuff that belonged to us, asking me if i ‘want’ them back, if not she will throw them away.
How did even i last years with this woman?
Now i have two choices, simple one will be not to go for the meet up. No meet up, no shit talkers to entertain, and there’s no need to stress myself out comparing with other people.
Another will be to go down, and live though that fucking groundhog day i go through every year.
This year, i was seriously toying with the idea about not going. I mean, i can just spend a couple of hundred, buy a air ticket, fly to Thailand for a good meal and a massage. Then send some pictures to the group and pretend i’m busy but something Meihui posted really got to me.
It’s like she’s really out to irk me.
A picture of her holding the year book, and back then, when we were leaving school, we all doodle on the covers and all, leaving autographs and shit. Right on the cover of that yearbook, was a giant heart shape with our name on it.
James and Meihui. There’s even a caricature i drew of the both of us.
We were together for more than 4 years after secondary school before she left me for her current husband when i enlisted.
Meihui held that book by her face, pout like some slut who wants to max out the camera filters, you know, make her face so white, so sharp to the point it will crash the AI server.
The captions?
‘Life, is about making the right choices, and knowing when to let go even when it’s hard to do so. The hardest thing i ever did, was to let go of my 1st boyfriend. If i did not, i won’t be able to meet my true love.’
The moment i saw it, i immediately let loose a string of Hokkien poem.
James : WAH, KNNBCCB!
You can say i’m too sensitive but i’m observant. Beside that picture, she had a box sitting in the dustbin, a handmade box that contained all the movie ticket stubs and love notes i made for her. There’s even like 99 heart shaped folded from SBS bus tickets.
It’s damm obvious that post was meant to jibe me.
I know, you can ignore it.
The more i react, the more people will get a kick out of irritating me.
However, enough is enough.
Sure, i don’t have a condo, i also don’t have a fancy ride, but if there is something i can do, that is to get a hot girl, pretend to be my girlfriend. At least that will shut that stupid bitch up.
I may not be a high earner, but i’m still around the median wage. I can afford to hire someone, maybe a part time stage actress, someone to act as my girlfriend for a few hours. I’m going to rent a car, splash a few hundred dollars if it means driving a Mercedes down to the gathering.
Maybe this might be the last gathering i will attend.
And if so, i’m going to show up with a fucking hot babe, in a fucking swanky car and look like i win the 5 million toto.
Coming soon