James and Hazel have shared two beautiful years together, and James is ready to take the next step. But just as he prepares to propose, life throws them a curveball: James is offered a three-month work assignment in Australia. On the very same day, Hazel receives devastating news—her time is running out. Determined to leave a lasting impact, Hazel embarks on a heartfelt mission to ensure James can find happiness and purpose long after she’s gone.
November 2009
James switches the powerpoint to the last slide and concluded his presentation to his team. His boss, Mr Koh is seated right at the rear of the meeting with with the company’s chairman Liu. They were whispering and gesturing to him while they listened to his presentation.
As nervous as James was, he concentrated on the presentation and gave a finish that deserves a standing ovation.
James : With that…i don’t see why the company’s revenue will grow less than 15% in the upcoming work year…
He shuts down the screen and looked at every seated before him and announced the good news the only a handful of executives were aware of. James himself received the notifications barely a few minutes before the meeting began too.
James : It’s a Friday, and Fridays…deserves good news guys…
He paused on purpose for dramatic effect before smiling.
James : We got the government contract in Australia…
There was a 2 second pause before the room erupted in cheers. Some colleagues came forward to hug James, others congratulated him for the work well done. Everyone worked their guts out for the tender. All the late nights have paid off. The contract was the biggest in the company’s history and it will keep the office going for the next 5 years as it continues to expand.
Amidst cheers and congratulatory handshakes, Koh came over and handed an envelope to James.
James: What is this boss?
Koh : Open and see…
James : You’re not retrenching me right?
Koh : haha. You got to be kidding James…
James opened the envelope and it was a promotion. One that came with a $500 increment, and a 3 month posting to Australia.
James looked up in disbelief.
James : Boss…
Koh : You deserved it James…well done…
Liu, a balding old man with a stern frown came forward and pat James on his shoulder.
Liu : I’m sorry James…i take back my words about the tender…i shouldn’t have stopped you from trying…
Koh : Young people have the energy…let them try…
Liu : I’ll really be shooting myself in the foot if i had stopped you back then…
James : It’s all water under the bridge Mr Liu…thank you for giving me the opportunity…
Liu : You will have plenty more James…keep up the good work…
James read the promotion again and he smiled. That promotion and increment will definitely come in handy now that he planned to pop the big question to his girlfriend Hazel.
He went back to his desk and shuts down his computer. Packing his belongings, he looked at the picture of him and his girlfriend taken when on holiday. James used his thumb and touched the radiant smile on Hazel’s face, smilingly unknowingly as he did so.
James : can’t wait to see you babe…
…
Ward 34
Changi General Hospital
Hazel and the other nurses gathered around the nurse manager as they completed the debrief for the day’s shift.
It’s not often she gets a Friday evening off and she was anxious to go off to meet James.
Sister Keng : Bed 32 will be discharging tomorrow morning, his wife will need help to bring him down to the taxi stand. Doctor Teo will be covering for Doctor Tan next week, and oh one last thing. Hazel, can you stay back for a second…i have nothing for the rest…good job everyone…
The nurses and other healthcare attendants dispersed, leaving Hazel with a puzzled look.
Sister Keng : Relax Hazel…i’m not asking you to cover a shift.
Hazel : I might just get a heart attack Sister…
Sister Keng : This is from HR…i didn’t get to see you last week.
Hazel : oh…is this what i think it is…
Sister Keng : You transferred from another Hospital in the middle of the work year…so bonus and appraisal…it’s a bit complicated…but i fought hard for you…you deserve it…
Hazel opened the envelope and saw the $250 increment and the pro-rated bonus.
Hazel : Oh my god, thank you so much Sister Keng…!
She gave the motherly figure a hug that almost squeezed the life out of her.
Sister Keng : Haiya…owww…flatten already la…
Hazel could not take her eyes off the letter and Keng teased her about her boyfriend.
Sister Keng : When is he proposing soon? 2 years already right…
Hazel : haha…i don’t know…i saw his internet browsing history…
Sister Keng : Oh dear…is it porn?
Hazel : Haha…no…it’s HDB website. He’s looking at BTOs…should be soon i guess…
Sister Keng : He looks like a nice guy…
Hazel : He is…
Hazel replied with a dreamy smile while thinking of James. She couldn’t wait to share the good news with him.
Sister Keng : Oh right, Dr Poh is looking for you…Can you pop by and see what he wants before you clock off?
Hazel : Sure. i’ll head over now.
Hazel knocked on Dr Poh’s door and opened the door when he asked her to come in.
Poh stopped what he was doing immediately and looked at the bright young nurse in front of him. If there is one aspect of his job he hated, it was delivering bad news. Especially to someone who has such a bright and promising future ahead.
Poh : Hazel…please…sit down…
Poh opened his drawer and took out an envelope. Before he could hand it over, Hazel said Sister Keng already gave her the letter from HR.
Hazel : I got the increment letter already…thank you for the appraisal!
Poh : Ermm..this is not about that…
Poh handed the report to Hazel and from his solemn expression on his face, Hazel knew something was wrong.
Poh : This…is from you latest check up…we took a closer look at your pancrea when we saw the first test results…
Hazel : And?
Hazel ripped the enveloped and as he eyes scanned through the lab report, she felt her whole world come crashing down.
Dr. Poh exhaled quietly, folding his hands on the desk as he met Hazel’s shock gaze.
Poh : It’s pancreatic cancer—stage four.
The words hung in the air, unnatural in their finality. Hazel blinked once, then again, her mind struggling to catch up. Her breath hitched, but no words came. A strange numbness spread through her chest, dulling everything except the deafening silence that followed.
It was as if the entire room had shrunk, closing in around her, the walls pressing against her ribs. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
A minute passed—maybe more—before she finally inhaled, long and slow. When she spoke, her voice was eerily calm, as if detached from the reality of the moment.
Hazel : How…How much time do I have left?
Dr. Poh hesitated, his expression softening.
Poh : Three months…
He said quietly.
Hazel nodded, absorbing the answer. Three months. Ninety days. It should have felt like a death sentence, but all she could think about was how strangely small the number sounded.
A tear rolled down Hazel’s cheek as she sucked in a deep breath of air.
She stood up and thanked Dr Poh.
Hazel : Thanks Dr…
Poh : Hazel, we can discuss how to manage…
Hazel : No need…i’m ok…
Poh : Hazel…Hazel!
Hazel wiped her tears with the back of her hand as she headed over to the staff room to change out of her scrubs. She’s not going to be late for her first dinner date with James in almost a month.
…
Hazel walked out of the train station in City Hall, her eyes scanning the weekend crowd for her boyfriend.
Suddenly she felt a pair of hands cover her eyes from behind.
James : Guess who am i…?
Hazel smiled as she held onto James’ hand, leaning back into his embrace. Even after dating for so long, their love for each other still felt as fresh and exhilarating as when they first met. Hazel took a deep breath, inhaling James’ familiar scent, trying to etch every detail of this moment into her memory.
They arrived at a quaint little Italian restaurant that James had made reservations for. The ambiance was cozy, with soft candlelight flickering on the tables and the sound of clinking glasses filling the air. They settled into their seats, and as they perused the menu, Hazel found herself stealing glances at James, trying to memorize every line of his face.
James : Why are you looking at me like that?
Hazel : No reason … i just want to look at you…
James : I have something to tell you dear…
Hazel : Me too…
James pulled out an envelope and with a heavy heart, Hazel reached for her medical report.
James : Increment, and promotion! And guess what? I’m going to Australia for 3 months! I’m leading the project! Koh made me team lead!
Hazel looked at how excited James was and she forced a smile, trying to match his enthusiasm. She knew she couldn’t burden him with her diagnosis now, not when his dreams were finally coming true.
James : what about you ? You had something to tell me too?
James looked at Hazel’s hand inside her bag, unaware that she has switched envelope and pulled out the one of her increment and bonus.
Hazel : $250 increment! and prorated bonus.
James : Wow! wait…let me count…
James quickly did the sums and exclaimed in relief that they are still a safe buffer away from reaching the ceiling cap to apply for a HDB flat.
Hazel : Is that a proposal?
James : haha. I’m not proposing with a BTO…i’m going to do it properly…with a ring…
Hazel smiled and James took her hand in his, their eyes locked in a moment of shared love and dreams.
James : I love you Hazel…i love you so much…I’m going to miss you when i’m in Australia…
Hazel : I love you too, James.
Hazel’s voice wavered slightly as she held back tears, overwhelmed by the bittersweetness of the moment.
As the night came to an end, they walked hand in hand under the starless sky, their footsteps echoing on the quiet void deck of Hougang where Hazel stays with her parents and brother.
Hazel’s heart felt heavy with the weight of her secret, but in that moment, all she wanted was to bask in the warmth of James’ love and cherish every second they had together.
James walked Hazel to her door and she put her arms around James. They kissed, as they broke apart, James brushed a gentle thumb across Hazel’s cheek, wiping away a tear that had escaped. His eyes searched hers, filled with concern and love that threatened to undo her completely.
James: Hazel, is everything alright?
Hazel : Yes…
James : Why are you crying?
Hazel turned her tears into a chuckle.
Hazel : Because i miss you already…
James: don’t be silly…i’m only flying end of the week…and it’s only going to be 3 months…
Hazel hugged James again, pressing her face against his chest for a second before forcing herself to break contact.
Hazel : ok…you better go…or you’ll miss the last train…
James : oh crap…it’s already 11.30
James waved goodbye to Hazel and ran towards the lift lobby, waving bye again right before he dash into the lift.
In her bedroom, Hazel took out her diary and her calendar. She started crying, and she allowed herself to bawl her heart out for almost an hour before she steeled her nerves as she made up her mind about what to do.
She’ll be leaving the man she loves, and she knows how much of a void it will leave in James’ heart. He won’t be able to take such heart ache. Hazel is worried that James will do something stupid.
And it’s up to her to stop him, and she is determined to do it, even when she is no longer around.
14000 words